The second post by Jodi R. R. Smith, etiquette expert, on the most common Destination Wedding Etiquette Questions. 

1. I have a couple guests that I would like to contribute a little bit towards their travel expenses. How do I do that without having these guests feel like "charity cases" and/or other guests finding out and wondering why I didn't offer for them too?

Encourage all of your guests to work through a single travel agency.  This will assist you in your planning and assist your guests in receiving the best price possible.  Then, let the agency know which guests you plan to help so they can price the travel appropriately to include your contribution.  You may decide to have your assistance be anonymous (so your guests do not feel like charity cases).  Or you may decide to let the guest know you have "points" or "discounts" which you want to share with them.  You should mention that you are not able to extend the same point/discounts to others so your guests know they have received an added benefit and should avoid mentioning it to others.

2. I don't want children at my destination wedding, how do I delicately let guests know that it's adults-only?

Be sure the invitation envelopes only have the adult names on the address.  If someone specifically asks, you let them know that while you love little "Tiffany" this is an adult resort and not geared in any way towards children.  If someone tries to emotionally blackmail you "we won't be able to attend without little Bobby."  Then your answer is, "We hope you will be able to find a sitter, otherwise we would love to have you over when we are back to share the pictures and memories."

3. We are planning a beach wedding, and we don't want to single anyone out as a traditional best man/maid of honor, mostly because it will be all our closest friends and family there and we just don't want to offend anyone. At the destination that we are getting married at we need to have two official witnesses to sign our marriage certificate at the wedding itself. How can we choose these two special people without offending our other close family/friends?

Your guests are mature enough to understand not everyone will be able to sign your marriage certificate!  Choose carefully.  You best option may be to choose a sibling or cousin.  If there are no siblings or cousins, then the friend you have known the longest.  Do be sure to speak with anyone who might possibly be hurt well in advance of the wedding.  The conversation should be "Susie, if I was having a traditional wedding, of course you would be one of my bridesmaids.  But since we are doing a destination event, I am just having Judy sign the certificate since she is my sister.  I do hope you understand and I am so glad you are going to be a part of my big day."

Jodi R. R. Smith is a nationally known etiquette expert and author.  To email your etiquette emergency, click to http://www.mannersmith.com   Copyright © 1996-2008 Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute this newsletter as long as this copyright and full information about contacting the author is attached.